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Pleased to meet you, Hope you guess my name

What's in a Name?

I'm sitting on the patio of a swing club. It is a warm evening and I'm enjoying my last few bites of pineapple salad while watching my wife flirt with a couple from across the room. I feel a set of hands reach around my face to cover my eyes. Next, a friendly kiss is planted on my cheek, then the hands are released from my eyes and I'm met with a sultry welcoming voice, "Hi John!"

It's her! It's..it's that girl that helped me have a tremendous orgasm some nights ago. The one that kissed me while we went down on my wife together. I can remember how delicious she was in bed. I can remember how her toes curl when she orgasms. I can remember her favorite sports team, what she drinks, where her kids go to school...but for the life of me, I cannot remember her name!

I've heard many people say that it is easier to remember someone's name if you say it out loud twice when you meet them. Something very robotic like, "Hi, I'm John. Oh nice to meet you Mack. So what do you do Mack?"

But oh hell no, this rule doesn't always work. My wife, her husband and myself probably SCREAMED her name out at least a dozen times a few nights ago and I STILL cannot remember her name.

Is it rude to tell her I forgot her name? Probably not, but how do I properly frame the question?

"I'm sorry, I know we've had sex recently, but I can't seem to remember your name just right now."

I probably won't have to worry about asking the question because I feel like any second she is going to drop the bomb on me. "John, you don't remember my name do you?" If she says that, I'm prepared. I'll use humor and reply, "Of course not, Henrietta". I don't think I've ever met a Henrietta so hopefully this is a safe bet.

Freedom from this sticky situation is only a few feet away. My wife is still chatting with the other couple so I could just excuse myself, go ask my wife what to call this lovely lady and be done with it...BUT her hand is on my leg now and I like where the conversation is headed. If I wait it out long enough, maybe we'll end up naked again and I'll hear her husband say or scream her name out loud and I'll be off the hook.

A few minutes later I am saved. She stands up and says, "Alan and I are going to play upstairs. Hope to see you there."

Alan? Thanks but I already knew that. Seconds later, my wife returns. I ask her, "Baby, why didn't you come over and join us?"

To which she replies, "I wanted to, but I felt awkward because I couldn't remember that girl's name".

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Swinger FAQ's

Frequently Asked Questions

Swinging Lifestyle FAQs

This is a compilation of some Frequently Asked Questions. Of course you are still free to email or call us on anything not covered here.

What sort of people are Swingers?
The people involved in this Lifestyle consist of a large cross section of people. Swingers come from all walks of life, in all shapes, sizes and ages. Upon average, it appears that most couples are in their late twenties to late forties but there are many other ages represented from 21 through "senior years". Look around at the thirty/fortyish crowd the next time you are at the airport waiting for a flight. Imagine them without their kids or stuffy suits on but rather looking their most relaxed, sexy best. This will give you an idea of what swingers look like as ANY ONE of these people could be Swingers! We have met all types of people in the Lifestyle with all types of careers from A to Z. Swingers represent a large demographic. Some of the most common similarities we have observed that Swingers share include a sense of adventure, a love for new experiences and meeting new friends, honesty and an open mind, respect for others, and most of all, a very strong, secure and loving relationship with their partner. Swingers, in general, are fun loving people that seem to enjoy life to the fullest.

How do I approach my partner about Swinging?
There are two ways to go. The first is frank discussion - if your partner is able to verbalize his or her sexual desires, then talking and finding out the facts together may lead you to the decision that is best for your overall happiness. If it is difficult to find out exactly what your partner thinks, a less subtle approach may be better. Try exposing your partner to the idea of Swinging through verbal fantasizing during lovemaking, viewing pornographic movies and magazines that portray multiples, becoming platonic friends with Swingers, etc. By contacting local Swingers Clubs, you will be able to find out about parties and hotel lounges that are meeting places for couples interested in Swinging. A visit for dinner and drinks may lead to contacts and discussions that may spark your partner's interest in a new form of sexual adventure!

I think I am interested in a Swinging experience, but am not 100% sure. This makes me a little uncomfortable, what should I do?

Once all the facts are in front of you, the decision will be a little easier. Like anything else in life, the first time may be a little uncomfortable because you have not participated in the activity before and do not know what to do. This is perfectly normal. Contact a local Swingers Club and explain your interests. You will more than likely be speaking with someone who knows exactly where you are coming from because he (she) was in your position at one time. They should be able to offer advice, contacts to speak with or meet, and places where you can go to socialize with Swingers on a platonic basis. This should give you exposure to the Swing Scene without any sexual involvement on your part.

Aren't you worried about diseases?
When we first started thinking about getting into swinging, we had many of the same questions and concerns as you about STD's. We wish we could tell you the answer or point to somewhere on the Internet that gives the absolute facts, but we can't. This is a personal decision that you and your partner will have to resolve. Like anything in life, there are risks.

We can tell you of a very good book that we have read: The Lifestyle. A Look at the Erotic Rites of Swingers. The author of the book is not a swinger, he's an investigative writer and so far we've found everything in the book to be factual, honest and not just one-sided from a swinger's perspective.

How do you know someone is healthy and safe? You probably cannot be 100% certain but swingers don't want STD's just as much as anyone else. From our experiences, we've seen most everyone being very cautious. Condoms are usually abundant in a club. While most of the people we have observed are not using condoms for oral sex, the vast majority of them do use them for intercourse. That is not to say that we would not play with a couple orally if they asked us to use condoms, it's just that by the time we are in a situation where we are playing with a couple, we're comfortable playing (and yes that is a risk, we take) orally without condoms. If we were to ever decide to have full intercourse with other couples we would definitely use condoms.

I want to be very discreet in my activities. What are the different ways to make contacts with other individuals / couples interested in Swinging?
Established Swingers Clubs are very professional and discreet in their conduct. Otherwise, they would not exist for more than a week. Other alternatives are Swinger publications and contact magazines / newsletters, Internet newsgroups, websites such as this one, introduction services, conventions and special events, travel agencies and resorts that cater to the sexually adventurous, and telephone contact organizations that offer voice mail advertisement and responses as well as chat lines.

How can I maintain my privacy while corresponding with other Swingers?
You should be able to maintain a P.O. Box at a local post office for a nominal fee. Email is growing in popularity these days as well as websites, like this one, whose personal ads will act as an intermediary until you decide to give out your email address. In this way, you can remain anonymous at your leisure. Swinging activities can take place at third party locations: Swingers Clubs, hotels, resorts, private homes, etc.